-4 and looking like Elmo
I ran last night after
Speedy Ima's 30th birthday party because I didn't have time to run beforehand. The windchill never got out of the single digits yesterday and by the time I got out there, it had fallen to -2 at the start of my run. Six miles in it had dropped again to -4 windchill.
The run, although fun, left me with 2 frozen water bottles (more on that later) and looking as red as my son's Elmo toy. In fact, I matched my bright red Under Armour beanie hat! All of this despite dipping my head and body in a tub of vaseline beforehand !! Out on the run, I definately had an adventure. My first water bottle (oj, water, salt) was frozen less than 2 miles into my run. I couldn't even open it without whacking it against a light pole (much to the amusement of drivers stopped at the traffic light) -- a few miles later, I tried again and managed to get the top unscrewed only to take a deep gulp and discover that the foamy stuff on top was actually a soapy OJ due to not rinsing my water bottle out well enough.
This meant a quick detour into CVS for a bottle of Gatorade (they didn't have Powerade). By the time I got 20 minutes down the road, the Gatorade was also frozen and I couldn't get it open. By this point, I am cold, cranky and getting dehydrated. I was supposed to run 16 miles but ran 12 (in 2:07) before calling it a night. I hadn't gotten to hydrate for a few miles and wasn't going to run 4 more miles with no liquid.
The final blow to my run was the wind. I had a headwind going out which for most parts of the country should mean a tailwind for the return trip. Those of you who know, Boston will also know that a tailwind is never guaranteed -- and in this case, I ended up fighting a headwind for the entire run.
When I got home and peeled off my 2 layers of pants, 2 shirts, running jacket, gloves, and hat my body was VERY red all over and my face looks like I've been on a beach in Key West -- too bad I didn't get the relaxation of the beach! While I enjoy what my non-running friends feel like is "extreme running" there is a limit...and this morning when my face hurt and my ears protested yet another cold day, I realized that last night was as extreme as I want to get right now....
Waddle on!
Breaking the Silence
This month's
Runner's World magazine issue featured broken the silence about a
serious issue impacting member of the running community -- clinical depression. I've been battling depression and serious
PTSD for a number of years while consistently maintaining that I can fix it on my own. My inner mantra has been "you have to push through, you've been through harder." Last year I was so depressed that I couldn't train for the BAA half-marathon. Just getting the basics of daily life done frequently is a struggle.
"What do you mean your depressed, you're training for a marathon -- that's just not possible" is a frequent response from folks when I try to talk about my depression. How is it possible to both active and clinically depressed? Good question -- depression for me, sometimes means that I can't get out of bed or that when I do, I only manage to make it through the workday and come home to hide. Other days, I've gone out to run so that I can "push through" only to be completely miserable. Lately, running has been one of the only things I've enjoyed (though Friday I bailed on a long run after work sent me into a major tailslide). Work, school, and everything else have been exhausting and left me unable to function during the hours that I'm at home. The stress put on me and my family as a result has been unbelievable.
Runner's World's willingness to take on the issue of depression among athletes has caught me by surprise, but it has helped knowing that as a runner and a person struggling against depression, I am not alone. The feeling of isolation and that I should be able to handle everything without help has always been a significant barrier. I'm beginning to realize (well, atleast today I realize...)that if I am strong enough to run a marathon, I'm strong enough to say that I need help and medication to keep me on the roads...
Figaro's Boston
Hi all -- just a brief FYI for those of you who live or work in the Boston area:
Figaro's of Boston are raising money for my DFMC run. They are located on Beach St, just 2 blocks from South Station on the Red Line. The wonderful owners have agreed to match all contributions collected at their restaurant from now until April 17th (Marathon Monday)! This is a great opportunity to have a great breakfast or lunch and support Dana-Farber -- so go, eat, give, and tell 'em I sent you!
As one of the Runner's World writers says...."Waddle On Friends"!
Pesach Marathon Preparations
I've settled on what I'll be drinking during the marathon -- I've been using the OJ, salt, water recipe I posted a few weeks ago on my long runs to great success. I think that I'm going to carry a fuel belt just to be one the safe side during the marathon because I'd hate to miss a person with fuel and bonk as a result.
I did use Goo during yesterday's run because I'm having a bit of trouble finding individual honey packets -- if you happen to have a source in the Boston area, please let me know! A honey alternative goo substitute is still in the works -- I'll let you know when I hit on something.
This weekend I'll be starting to eat dinner the day before my long runs roughly the same way that I will the day before the marathon. My breakfasts will also change to be more similar to what I'll eat that morning. As time goes on, I'll adjust my start time to noon and do a couple of long runs following the ritual I expect on Marathon monday.
I haven't heard from those of you who are preparing to run and observe Pesach as well -- how is it going out there?
Lost...
Yesterday I found myself thankful for a great inner GPS system since I got lost in the West Medford and Arlington areas. I missed a turn on my 16 mile long run and realized that I'd have to "punt" my route from there. Making a quick mental map of where I thought I was, I calculated roughly where I should turn to get back near the original route and luckily, I was right on. The downside to all of this that my run through the Arlington Hills turned out to be hillier than I had original plan. The 2nd half of the run was flat or slightly downhill for the most part so things balanced out. I finished in 2:20:43 -- not breaking a speed record but I've been trying to focus on my pacing for the past couple of weeks.
I'm starting to think a lot about how to become a better runner -- understanding the impact of form on my runs, feeling out different paces, knowing how the food I eat impacts my body. There is so much to learn but I feel like I'm a few steps ahead of where I was last year at this time which is all I can ask for...much like adding mileage, the improvements happen from run to run in small increments.
One final thought...
When I leave my office at 5 and take the train home, I normally get home around 5:45 or 5:50. Today running home, I walked in my door at 5:53 -- I don't know if this says something about my running or something about the state of the T (the train). Probably both but it still felt pretty cool
The Anti-Diet....
Some of my co-workers have started a group called "The Biggest Loser Club" to lose weight. The person who loses the most body fat gets a cash reward -- and they are making me ABSOLUTELY MENTAL in the process. I admit, I'm 118 pounds with little body fat and I eat pretty much what I want. That, however, has not always been the case -- in college, I was pushing 180 for a while...
Today, we had cake to celebrate the recent birthdays of some staff members. All morning, BLC members could be heard talking to eat other about to eat the cake or not to eat the cake. I heard more than one say, if I eat cake it means that I should skip lunch because I don't need the calories. Another, accused one staff member of falling off the wagon...
I've tried to talk to BLC members about other ways to reduce body fat without getting into the food as punishment cycle but have been stopped at each attempt. I have offered to help people get running (just a little running, jogging, any cardio ...even) but was told that exercise is just too much work. Others go for walks during lunch but don't move fast enough to break a sweat or get their heart rates up...in most cases, the message they are communicating to each other is, we need to lose weight by any means necessary...which for me signals less about wanting to have a healthy body that has less body fat and is a message that screams potential eating disorder in huge red flashing lights. Certainly this isn't true for all of the members but I worry about some and their relationship to food and their bodies.
There are a couple of people in my office (I'm not sure if they are in BLC or not) that have recently started to ask about running and working up to a 5k -- this is exciting. More people to talk running, nutrition, exercise with in ways that are sustainable and healthy! Yay potential runners..
As for falling off the wagon...if you are having such a miserable relationship with food and your body, shouldn't you consider trying a different wagon? There are plenty of ways to have a healthier body without starving yourself or beginning to hate to eat. Yes, I run -- which allows me to worry less about that 100 calorie snack that one woman complained about this morning (there are men in on this group too...) but, the key is eating in moderation and adjusting my body to be more active so that I burn the calories.
It makes me sad to hear my collegues talking about everything they can't eat and at the same time talking about how they go home and do nothing but watch
Lost or
American Idol before bed. I have nothing against T.V. but if you want a healthy body, how about finding a wagon that combines good food, exercise, a little T.V and a great image of yourself/your health too?
Which wagon are you on?
Absolutely Mental....
Absolutely mental: A phrase used by my co-workers to describe my running "habit" -- Does this mean they think I'm crazy? I think that is what they are trying to tell me...
Absolutely mental: running at it's best is a mental as well as physical endevor. Tonight, I ran 5 miles home from work at a pace just under 8:00/mile. Somewhere about halfway home, I realized that I wasn't mentally in the game and was just flinging my legs forward and back rather than using the power in them to push off -- wasting precious seconds because of a mental lapse. On the marathon course, you have to keep your head in the game for some things (form, eating, drinking, pace...) otherwise, Boston's course will chew you up and spit you out....some of the biggest names in running history have bonked on this course
Absolutely mental: The process I'm going through in changing from thinking about running in order to finish Boston fast than last year to thinking about running as a year long process with the goal of improving all year, not just for one race. I'm faster and fitter now than last year at this time despite more layoff than I should have taken. I've begun to realize that faster and fitter is really the goal -- and that takes time....this is absolutely a mental shift for me
Feeling Hardcore...
I ran 14 or so miles before heading into the office yesterday...although this year, I've been less fanatical about my training I still felt, just for a moment, a little hardcore...the run was great. My co-workers always give me a hard time when I get to the office at 8 having already run more than a half marathon and eating everything in sight! I got up at 3:30 and was out the door an hour later -- there was no one on the road since we had more than a foot of snow on Sunday which made for a nice run. I averaged around 9:40 per mile over the course of the run and felt like I could have run another couple of miles if time had allowed.
Donations are starting to come in again -- I received a few today from co-workers and family members. A collegue of mine is a member of a shul on the marathon route and I'm hoping to talk to them about both sponsorship and having food for Pesach observant runners on the course...great project for a youth group I think! I keep forgetting to email Jack Fultz (our DFMC coach) and ask him to address eating before, during, and after the race for those of us who are observing Pesach. I know that atleast one other person on the team is impacted by Pesach and I've heard from a number of other runners as well.
For those who have emailed from out of town to ask about where to eat Marathon weekend, your options are unfortunately few. I would recommend buying food at the Butcherie in Brookline since I am not aware of any restaurants where you will be able to eat. Another option is to contact a local shul and ask if they can match you with an individual or family for meals that weekend. I keep hoping that a shul in the area will figure a pre-marathon or post-marathon party out but I'm realizing more and more that the assumption is that when it comes to marathoning "Jews don't do that...". Incorrect, but part of the stereotype I'm afraid.
If any Jewish marathon gatherings come together, you'll read it here so keep checking in....
Return of the White Stuff...
The weather here in New England has been very mild up to now which makes me worry about what the rest of February and March will bring. This weekend's weather will definately make an impact on my running schedule. We are expecting 8-14" of snow on Sat./Sun. along with very high winds. The forecast makes me think that it is likely that I'll be doing my 15-16 mile run on Monday after work rather than my normal Sunday morning run! Last year I ran after 27+" of snow which was incredibly stupid -- this year, I'm trying to be a little smarter about knowing when to rest or re-arrange my schedule. If the weather Sunday afternoon isn't bad, I'll get out there. Otherwise, a post work run will take care of the mileage.
In fundraising news -- I have had just over $1650 in pledges so far. The largest pledge to date has been $500 from a friend and fellow
Havnik. The fundraising minimum is $2500 (which should be no problem). I'll be sending some more letters out next week when my new computer and printer arrive. Hopefully, I'll also be able to make arrangements with local businesses for "DFMC day" or to donate gifts for raffles.
Doing it for Chris
Last night at my team meeting, there was a woman talking about what it was like to find out that your baby son has stage 3 cancer in his testicles, lungs, and other organs and what it was like to run 5 years after the treatment ended, covering that last mile with the same son who thankfully has remained cancer free.
I listened, holding my son asleep in my arms and began to think about what it was like last year, out on the course when in the beginning, people would just see "Chris" and not "For Chris". The turning point came when a young man of 9-10 yelled "Go Chris" and then looked again at what my singlet said and after seeing "For Chris" and Dana-Farber began to yell "Do it for Chris --- you gotta do it for Chris." That energy kept me going.
The day we lost Chris was also my 29th birthday. I remember feeling angry that he died on my birthday (I don't really enjoy birthdays but nonetheless, that's how I felt) and sad that he wouldn't be able to come watch the marathon with DFMC folks at mile 25 afterall. Just a few weeks before, he and I had talked about him coming to watch...now, almost a year later, I find myself in a different place - still sad but also realizing just how much borrowed time we all got with him.
The experimental treatments gave us a little extra time -- he was Stage 3 when diagnosed and things quickly progressed from there but when he opted for the experimental treatment, things slowed back down. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months -- he made it almost a year. Last year, crossing the finish line, I saw his favorite biblical passage flying on a church banner to celebrate the marathon -- he asked that I use it during last year's fundraising. "May you run and not grow weary. May you walk and not faint" -- Isiah 40:31
On the hill again...
...on the hill again, just can't wait to get on the hill again...(to the tune of Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again")
I look forward to hill repeats as much as I look forward to a trip to the dentist's chair...at the time it seems like needless pain and suffering, only later, after I've recovered do realize that my body feels a little better. Tonight was one of those nights. 30 minutes of hill repeats with an icy headwind on the uphill portion. Last night at our team meeting, Jack Fultz was talking about the pain becoming more nusance than pain as you mentally adjust to training -- the reality is, that when it comes to running up and down a hill over and over again, I'm just not there yet.
Successful Adventures In Parenting Part I
Last night Yoni and ventured out together for the first non-coffee house solo outing last night to the DFMC team meeting. I wasn't sure how taking him to the meeting was going to go but he did really well. He spent most of the meeting either sleeping or flirting with staff and team members.
I did learn the importance of double checking the top of the bottle before giving it to him. I was having a conversation with a teammate when he began to indicate he was hungry -- I made my way over the the diaper bag to get the bottle (still having a conversation and feeling like "hey, maybe I can do this runner parent thing afterall) when all of the sudden, milk began pouring out of the bottle when I gave it to him...like an idiot, all I could get out of my mouth was "uhh no, uhh no..." Thankfully the woman that I was talking to grabbed the bottle out of my hand and wiped off with a napkin, tightened the lid, and gave it to me -- all before the baby could realize the bottle was gone....ahhh, adventures in parenting!
Hitting the trails
I've been jealous of those people in runner's world who are hitting beautiful trails and beaches on their runs so I ran to one of several wilderness reservations in the Boston area to do a little trail running for this week's long run. After being sick all week, I needed a little time running with the rocks and trees.
The route was by far the hilliest I've run this training season. My legs and cardio system seemed fine even when pushed a little bit. I stopped my watch for a bit and took on an additional rocky, steep section just so that I could see what turned out to be an amazing few of the city. All together, I ran somewhere between 12-13 miles.
The bonus for the run was getting to spot a red fox scurrying around some trees and under the rocks! I saw something running beside me in the trees and was able to just get my head around as it disappeared in the rocks. Simply beautiful. Birds and running water -- I didn't even notice the rain showers and when I looked at my watch was shocked to find out it was time to turn around despite running at a good clip!
After the run, I realized that despite being behind in my training, I'm in a lot better shape than I was last year at this time. My baseline fitness is better, I'm a more experienced runner, and I'm getting atleast 2 out of 3 runs per week in. Marathon Monday may not be as ugly as I've been fearing after all...
Pesach Marathon Prep Test Kitchen I
Today's experiment: drinks
Ingredients:
1/4 water bottle of OJ
3/4 water bottle of water
1/4 teaspoon of salt
I thought I'd pick something easy to try and test for a Powerade substitute come marathon day. This one tastes better than fruit punch that has been watered down! I found that it worked well -- the salt seemed adequate to offer fuel to the muscles but I want to do some research on what the optimal amount is.
For those who want to make sure you get enough salt on marathon day, carry a pesach friendly boullion cube with you on the course -- crush it up and eat it periodically during the race. I highly recommend trying anything new during training to see how your body adjusts. It sounds gross, I know, but it works well!
Next week's test kitchen adventure: Gu substitute!
